Hair today - gone tomorrow

Women want to be hairless everywhere but on their heads. That's my conclusion after a lifetime in this business.

And that's also why I'm now a full-time hair remover and not just a hairdresser. I used to cut, colour, set and blow it. Now I just zap it.

A strange profession for a man, perhaps, but one that enables me to heal women of profound embarrassment, shyness and lack of self-esteem.

"Dillapidation" as my Grandma used to call it, is the hot topic in my salon these days.

The trend, like many before it, comes from America, where waxing has reached new and daring realms. Many American and British women now belong to a secret club. The initiation is painful, the recovery tough but the results are well worth it, as I'm constantly told.

The Brazilian

We are talking the Brazilian of course. Barbie-doll bare in your most intimate region is becoming more and more fashionable. It makes you feel wonderfully clean and increases sexual tension, they tell me.

Most girlie magazine models have had a Brazilian, along with lots of celebrities such as Victoria Beckham. She said recently: "I love Brazilians. They ought to be made compulsory at 15, don't you think?" Lots of local women are fans too.

Modern treatments range from long-term to permanent removal and there are no harmful side effects. Certainly beats the string-and-pluck Greek slaves had to suffer.

Waxing is far more sophisticated than it used to be and the best salons use hard wax that shrink-wraps the hair, with little or no damage to the skin.

The tyranny of fashion is surely the main reason more and more women want to be smooth although I'm not convinced it's right to remove all traces of our natural, animal selves.

But I'm only the plucker and a man, so what would I know?